Public Domain Poetry And Stories - A Hyde Park Larrikin by Henry Kendall
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A Hyde Park Larrikin

    By Henry Kendall



    You may have heard of Proclus, sir,
    If you have been a reader;
    And you may know a bit of her
    Who helped the Lycian leader.

    I have my doubts the head you “sport”
    (Now mark me, don’t get crusty)
    Is hardly of the classic sort
    Your lore, I think, is fusty.

    Most likely you have stuck to tracts
    Flushed through with flaming curses
    I judge you, neighbour, by your acts
    So don’t you d    n my verses.

    But to my theme. The Asian sage,
    Whose name above I mention,
    Lived in the pitchy Pagan age,
    A life without pretension.

    He may have worshipped gods like Zeus,
    And termed old Dis a master;
    But then he had a strong excuse
    He never heard a pastor.

    However, it occurs to me
    That, had he cut Demeter
    And followed you, or followed me,
    He wouldn’t have been sweeter.

    No doubt with “shepherds” of this time
    He’s not the “clean potato”,
    Because excuse me for my rhyme
    He pinned his faith to Plato.

    But these are facts you can’t deny,
    My pastor, smudged and sooty,
    His mind was like a summer sky
    He lived a life of beauty

    To lift his brothers’ thoughts above
    This earth he used to labour:
    His heart was luminous with love
    He didn’t wound his neighbour.

    To him all men were just the same
    He never foamed at altars,
    Although he lived ere Moody came
    Ere Sankey dealt in psalters.

    The Lycian sage, my “reverend” sir,
    Had not your chances ample;
    But, after all, I must prefer
    His perfect, pure example.

    You, having read the Holy Writ
    The Book the angels foster
    Say have you helped us on a bit,
    You overfed impostor?

    What have you done to edify,
    You clammy chapel tinker?
    What act like his of days gone by
    The grand old Asian thinker?

    Is there no deed of yours at all
    With beauty shining through it?
    Ah, no! your heart reveals its gall
    On every side I view it.

    A blatant bigot with a big
    Fat heavy fetid carcass,
    You well become your greasy “rig”
    You’re not a second Arcas.

    What sort of “gospel” do you preach?
    What “Bible” is your Bible?
    There’s worse than wormwood in your speech,
    You livid, living libel!

    How many lives are growing gray
    Through your depraved behaviour!
    I tell you plainly every day
    You crucify the Saviour!

    Some evil spirit curses you
    Your actions never vary:
    You cannot point your finger to
    One fact to the contrary.

    You seem to have a wicked joy
    In your malicious labour,
    Endeavouring daily to destroy
    The neighbour’s love for neighbour.

    The brutal curses you eject
    Make strong men dread to hear you.
    The world outside your petty sect
    Feels sick when it is near you.

    No man who shuns that little hole
    You call your tabernacle
    Can have, you shriek, a ransomed soul
    He wears the devil’s shackle.

    And, hence the “Papist” by your clan
    Is dogged with words inhuman,
    Because he loves that friend of man
    The highest type of woman

    Because he has that faith which sees
    Before the high Creator
    A Virgin pleading on her knees
    A shining Mediator!

    God help the souls who grope in night
    Who in your ways have trusted!
    I’ve said enough! the more I write,
    The more I feel disgusted.

    The warm, soft air is tainted through
    With your pernicious leaven.
    I would not live one hour with you
    In your peculiar heaven!

    Now mount your musty pulpit thump,
    And muddle flat clodhoppers;
    And let some long-eared booby “hump”
    The plate about for coppers.

    At priest and parson spit and bark,
    And shake your “church” with curses,
    You bitter blackguard of the dark
    With this I close my verses.



Extra Info:
To the servants of God that are to be found in every denomination,
these verses, of course, do not apply. — H.K.


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